~Little Moments~

This morning I was rushing... In my head I kept yelling at myself, "You know you need to wake up earlier, You know you have a longer drive to town now, You are going to get fired!"... Then I woke my little boy up (which I hate having to do). He immediately sneezed and started laughing! Right then I remembered that it is the little moments that mean the most!

I grabbed my coffee, my purse, the diaper bag and the baby and rushed out the door. Half way to the sitters house I heard a little Yawn from the backseat- I turned around and said " I WUV EWW" in his language and he gave me a smile (while pacifier was still in his mouth). Again, I was reminded that nothing at the moment mattered except the moment at hand.

It is crazy how when life gets hectic, the bills pile up, and things just aren't going the way you want them- the little moments happen that bring you back to what is really important!

Every Moment with Him and my husband is in slow motion. Its like the world is speeding past us and we are moving like slugs- I love it though- When I am rushed.. rushed...rushed.. then all of a sudden God puts a Caution- Flashing Light over them.

These are the moments I live for. They are the reason I work so hard- They are the reason I pay the bills and take on the side jobs.  But while with them- Nothing else matters! And time slows down...

~ I am not sure if it is the fact that it took so long to get pregnant with Auston.. Or the fact that Doctors told me that there was a 2% chance... But EVERYTHING he does... is HUGE to me! Every SMILE, every LAUGH, every new "trick" as Andrew calls it... I don't take any of it for granite!!

My encouragement for you today is to SLOW DOWN. When your kids are calling your name- to the point its annoying... stop and listen... go outside and play with them- schedule a lunch date if they are older... When your husband or wife needs to talk to you- STOP what you are doing and Talk... It's in those moments that you will realize or REMEMBER that nothing else matters! Everything else can wait!

Let Life throw up a CAUTION~ Take the time to be PRESENT in every moment, every laugh, every new "Trick" that may come your way!

What do your "Hats" look like?

So I woke up this morning as Katie the Wife. Snuggled up to my husband in the comfort of our Bed. My alarm clock woke me up- gratefully- but not long after.... the coo's of my Son made me exit the warmth of the covers. Now the Mother in me greeted him, changed his diaper, and started preparing things for the babysitter. (All the while trying to dress myself and prepare for my other FULL TIME job).

This is so normal to me that it doesn't take any special planning. It's second nature to go from one Role to the next. Then it dawned on me. We (all humans I guess), have so many different hats that we wear. Some more than others- based on their jobs, passions, skill level, etc. But in one given day my role can go from Wife to Mother, Prevention Specialist to Fundraiser Planner, Craft Teacher to Sunday School Teacher. Not to mention the (daughter, sister, friend roles) when people call to want to do lunch, dinner, hang out etc.  Sometimes I don't know whether I am coming or going (not sure if everyone thinks that about me too or not).------Hope not!

But the other day I was presented with an opportunity- One that in one role would be okay- but the other role- it would be a conflict. This had me thinking about how many different roles one can have at one time- and how it is important, no matter what role you are in, to stay true to yourself, your morals and your values.

For instance- If I were going to pitch an idea to a school about a program that I offered- I would look at it from the different Hats that I wear. I would not only see it as my JOB- But I would see it as a PARENT to one of the students- or as the SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher to one of the students. (By doing this- 1.) I will be more effective at what I do. 2.) I will have more passion for the subject 3.) Others will see that passion in me.

Some people tell me- Girl, I don't know WHEN or IF you sleep- You are in to so many different things!!! And yes, They are right, I am. But when Katie does something- or takes on a different HAT- I do it with everything that I have in me. I don't just wear a visor (and do things half way) I put that hat on and pull my pony tail through (If you know what I mean).

Sometimes I feel that people must look at their HAT collection and make sure that none of them are dusty, falling apart, or need to be thrown out. What I mean by this is....... Are there roles in your life that you let take a back burner because the PASSION is no longer there? Are there roles in your life that you miss yet haven't made time for? (this can be relationships with a wife/husband/ child or other family member)? Or are there roles in your life that you are merely involved in because you have to be- and its time to step down?

I believe if something is worth doing- then its worth doing right the first time. (Put your whole heart into what you are doing) If you can't.... then why are you doing it?

Ask yourself: "What Hats do I wear?"------- "Is it time to clean out the closet?" "Am I ready for another Hat?"

Your different "HAT'S" or Roles shouldn't conflict with your morals or values. You should still be you no matter what role you are playing.

If Katie can't be Katie- then Katie ain't going!

Examine your roles-clean out your closet of hats or by all means go shopping for some new ones!

~The Devil Wears Prada~

As I tried on clothes the other day~ I lost it right there in the dressing room. My body is not the same as it once was. My hips are a little wider, thighs a little thicker, tummy more bloated, etc. While I am totally okay with that- because I prayed for the miracle that stretched my body into what it now is, I cried because I am not like others I see.- and not to mention; we as women are EMOTIONAL creatures!

So often I see women come into the gym that have the perfect body- they make it look so easy to be Beautiful- I wonder to myself: "WHY ARE THEY HERE??" - oh yea... to keep that perfect body!

I see women at meetings I go to for work. Perfectly dressed in todays latest fashions, stylish shoes, gorgeous jewelry, and the nicest, shiniest hair dos. I immediately feel out of place.

 My clothes are the same clothes I have worn for years, I am at the gym because I NEED to be at the gym, My wedding rings are usually the only jewelry this woman wears, and my hair.... oh GOD.. my hair... yea, I will make an appointment when I get around to it!

Talk about overwhelming! Yes, it is true- we are our own worst critics.

 In my head I have the Angel on my shoulder that tells me "It's okay Girl, You just had a baby not to long ago, it takes time! You look great etc. But my worst enemy, in my head, is the Devil.--- And to me.. the Devil wears Prada! I hear "Get rid of your old clothes, go shopping for new ones, don't buy them bigger, lose weight, don't wear that its not your size anymore, you aren't up to societies standards, get with the times girl!!

But then I realized-

Before becoming a mom- I didn't worry about these types of things... I didn't worry about the latest fashions- I didn't worry about hitting the gym hard because I was always into sports- I didn't worry about the nicest jewelry or having the perfect hair!--- but now when my eyes meet a woman who looks as if she has it all together- I immediately notice my flaws.
 I guess now days I feel that way because I am not covered in designer clothes or perfume; I am covered in spit up!
Not to mention, the bags under my eyes for lack of sleep- The shirts I wear aren't very stylish- most likely they are baggy to cover up my not so flat stomach. And I am wearing Jeans in the summer because my legs aren't as small as I would like them!

 I may not have it all together on the outside. I may not turn heads when I walk by but I am trying to be okay with that.

 "Take me as I am" is my new way of thinking. Not that I am going to LET MYSELF GO, but take me as I am or don't take me at all!

Why yes, I do think it is important to take care of oneself and look presentable. But sometimes I feel that people get caught up in the materialistic things of the world that don't really matter!

I have come to realize that If worn out jeans, a spit up t-shirt, and thrown up hair aren't acceptable- then I probably won't be there---

If I HAVE to get a babysitter in order to attend an event- then most likely its not an event for me.

I have found more joy in the tiniest human being than some will ever find in clothes, jewelry or hair. So the next time I am running around like a chicken- and my eyes meet a Beautiful woman who looks like she should be on a runway. I will smile- Smile for the Beauty she has on the outside.. and the Beauty I have on the inside!

I teach girls everyday that someone's Character and Personality is what makes her Beautiful- Today, I will try harder to practice what I preach! I will try harder to listen to the Angel on my shoulder than the Devil that is strutting Prada.

Relationship v. Argument

The other day I was complaining about something to my husband. To tell you the truth, I was finding fault in many things he did... or didn't do. The house was a mess, I had lots to do and there was lots that needed to be done. I was stressed and I was taking it out on him. One thing led to another and before I knew it... we were arguing.

You know, that moment when you are so extremely mad at the one person you love more than anything in this world. I was puffing so hard! Almost so mad that my eyes were crossing. Our argument was to the point where after about 30 minutes of going back and forth- I couldn't even tell you what started the whole thing. SAD HUH? When you are so mad yet can't remember what started it!?

Then it dawned on me.

If I am so mad.. that I don't even know why I am mad... then why am I so mad about it? THAT JUST MADE ME MORE MAD! I started thinking of all the time I had wasted being picky about every little thing. Then I thought... Which do I value more? The Relationship or the Argument?

Don't get me wrong. There are times when standing up for what is right- is the right thing to do. Then there are times when pressing the issue on something YOU feel is RIGHT.. is NOT called for. My husband and I discuss EVERYTHING- We probably talk more than your average couple. Most of our conversations are informative on how work is going or what our plans for the day or week are... but sometimes our conversations are more intense- Yes emotions get involved-- I AM A FEMALE- but there are times when I must sit back and determine if it is a good time to stand firm or stand down.

 In Marriage, we must learn the difference. There will be times when things don't go our way. There will also be times when we want to express to our spouse the feelings that we have. My personal advice is...no matter what-- whether we stand firm or stand down-------> We must always VALUE the RELATIONSHIP more than the argument.

I feel sometimes we get caught up in our own emotions that we value the argument more. We don't care what gets said or who gets hurt as long as we get our point across. Slowly.. Marriages deteriorate because Arguments get more Value.

My personal goal this week is to place my spouse above any argument or discussion we may have. Yes, I will still express my feelings to him- But I am a firm believer that ANYTHING can be said nicely. My goal is to "talk" through everything.
If I feel we are getting no where- We will just agree to disagree- and resume later. No need to get loud, get stressed, and off track. (don't want to go back to not knowing what started the argument).

So my question to you is.. Do you value your relationship more than you value your arguments? If so, then I recommend you try the same thing. Try to be more conscious about your discussions. Remember, you are mad at the one person you are supposed to love with all of your heart! What argument could be more important than them??

Can you imagine how strong marriages would be if both the husband and the wife valued each other MORE than the disagreements they may have?

~Beautiful Disaster~

The average woman hears she is Beautiful, yet doesn't believe it.
 It's not that she thinks she is ugly.
She just doesn't feel worthy enough to be called "Beautiful".

"Why?" We ask... Because Society has told us that the "Beautiful" woman... is a supermodel that has long sleek legs, stringy yet perfect hair, perky lips, eye lashes for days, abs of steel, the perfect chest, and a petite figure. Heck, you see the "perfect woman" everywhere you look in magazines and billboards.

How discouraging! So often Society puts us down before we even have a chance. You can hear "you are beautiful" at home, or from parents, a spouse, or friend.. Yet, In your head all you see is a list of things you want or feel you need to improve: your weight, your muscle tone, your hair, your face etc.

It hurts... It makes you feel less than you really are. Makes you feel Un-loveable.. But the Truth is... There is a MAN that loves you just the way you are!

In Psalms 139: 13-15, God tells us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".. We may not like how we look- or there may be something about ourselves that we wish we could change.. yet, GOD... He made us the way He wanted us! We were CREATED by the Master. How awesome is that... He created us in our Mothers womb... He knew our features before the WORLD knew our features. He Loved us before we had a chance to Hate ourselves.

So often I feel that women lose sight that "Beauty" really comes from within. I once heard a quote that went something like this.. "A pretty face will grow old.. A nice Body will change with age... But a Good woman.. will always be a GOOD WOMAN!" Wow... What a reminder~ Society can tell us that Beauty is a LOOK that we all wish we can achieve yet God tells us otherwise.

 In Proverbs 31:30 He tells us that "Charm is deceitful and Beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised!"

Just know that God thinks you are Beautiful. You may find your "flaws" that you wish you could change. You may think or feel that in the eyes of this world you are nothing but a disaster. But try to retrain your way of thinking. The next time you are feeling down about your self (no matter what it is) think of whatever it is as a Beauty Mark given to you by God. In his eyes.. You are Loveable and you are Worthy. Find your Beauty in God.. not in this corrupt Society!

~My Weakness~

Is it just me or do other Mothers out there hear their alarm clocks frantically screaming in the morning, roll over, and think "I just did this!!!"

It seems like everyday is filled with events that keep me away from my family- keep me busy and on my toes. I come home- go to bed and repeat! On any given day I can go from teaching a class at the Detention Center to teaching middle School Students about Leadership and Communication- then Go teach a craft class or take a class from the gym- From one extreme to another!

Sometimes I feel guilty- Although I am doing what I can to provide for my family or every now and then fitting in a workout to better myself- I feel like I am an absent wife or mom. Guilt is something I let control me. It is my weakness!

Someone once told me that I am a PEOPLE PLEASER- and that I needed to learn to Please myself!

HA- Easier said then done!

What is pleasing to me? That's not hard- God, Family, and friends! Sometimes I get so carried away with helping others that I forget to help myself. I let my priorities take the back burner. (My family and friends may not see it or agree with it- yet I feel it).. ----Remember (that "G" word= GUILT).

It haunts me- it makes my heart beat faster than it needs to- it causes tension to build up in my shoulders, neck, and head. It makes my hair turn colors and causes deep valleys under my eyes.

Priorities should be just that- Priorities! I was told the other day that I just need to start telling people "NO".. That's another weakness of mine! But I am making a pact to start trying! Slowly but surely I will limit myself. You only live once right. I need to make the best of my time with my family while I have it!

Are you losing sight of your priorities? Do you catch yourself stuck on "repeat"? Is Guilt something you are encountering when you spend more time working and doing things for others than you do for yourself? If so, then maybe it is time for you to slow down as well! Remember- You can't people please all the time- (without being selfish) you must learn to please yourself! Don't let the hecticness of life rob you of your joy!

~Wanted: Someone to do these things~

I was thinking the other day about what a good man God has blessed me with! I got to thinkin': Not everyone has this in their partner. Some women do it alone- or just haven't found their Mr. Right. Some women can't communicate with their significant others as well as I can with mine. My Graduate Degree is Human Services with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Counseling.. Although, I didn't get my counseling license (because I don't want to take everyone's marriage stress home with me) I do have a passion for Communication- especially within the marriage!

So Men- Listen up-  Here are a few things I am SURE your significant other would LOVE for you do to for them. You will be surprised just how much it will mean to them.  Remember that---It's the LITTLE things that mean the most!!
Women-- You should do the same for your spouse sometime- if you don't already do..
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1. Tell her she is Beautiful!-- She may know she is OR she may think she's not- but hearing it from you makes all the difference in the world. Knowing that your partner finds you attractive is NEEDED in a relationship. Did you hear me? It is a necessity as a woman! Just because you said "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" or "WILL YOU DATE ME?" Doesn't mean that the chase isn't on anymore. Your woman still needs to be pursued by you ALL THE TIME!

2. Love her despite her flaws: Love is such a strong word. So is "Flaws". First and foremost, realize that no one but God is perfect. Second, Just because you may see them as flaws- doesn't mean that she does. We can all define "flaws" differently. When she is doing that thing you hate (Love her for it) She wouldn't be who she is if she didn't have those little quirks that makes her who she is- if anything, it maybe why you fell in love with her in the first place! The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25 "²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her". The Church (the PEOPLE) are not always perfect, yet Jesus loves us despite of our "Flaws".
* Love her with your whole heart- Not just some of it and not just on "date night".

3. Leave her messages:  Whether it be on a post-it- on the refrigerator- in her lunch box- in her car- or on the bathroom mirror-- a random text or an old school note book paper letter- Little notes from you may brighten her whole day- It not only tells her you are thinking of her... It tells her that you took the time out of your busy schedule to do something FOR her. That in itself is huge! She loves hearing from you! Don't forget how your relationship once started. (passing notes at school- cards on valentines day etc) Notes are special to people. I still have tons of Notes my husband and I wrote to each other in high school and college! Try it!

4.Random gifts:  When I say "gifts" I use that term lightly. A random gift that meant a lot to me was beef jerky and a bag of chips on my front seat when I left for work one morning. To this redneck country girl- that was AMAZING!! A gift from you doesn't have to be a ring or a piece of jewelry.. It can be a coupon for a back rub- or a random act of kindness like: breakfast in bed.. or the Laundry.

5. Kiss her on the forehead: All women love this!

6.Pray for her: One- a man that prays is HOT! Two- Knowing that you are praying for your significant other will touch her in ways that you will never be able to. I pray for my husband everyday. He doesn't know it but I do. I want his walk with God to blossom. I once heard "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek HIM to find HER!"  Pray for your mate. It's the best thing you can do for him or her.

7. Surprise her with Dinner:  No, I don't mean a fancy restaurant. For this working Mama- Dinner cooking when I walk through the door is the best thing my husband can do for me these days! Knowing that after a long day I don't have to stand on my aching feet in the Kitchen is HEAVENLY!! You can take her to dinner if you would like.. But don't over think these techniques. They can all be done in the comfort of your home!

8. (If you are Married) Go to bed at the same time: Life can be so hectic- Sometimes the talking that we do during the day consist of text messages or emails "Are you picking the children up?" "want to go to Mom's house for Dinner Sunday?"  Going to bed at the same time allows you as a couple the alone time to catch up on your day to day life. Everything slows down when you can be alone (just the two of you). Don't stay up watching t.v. or working so late that you neglect each other. Precious time together is a necessity. If this is something you usually don't do- and you decide to start- I just KNOW she will appreciate that extra time with you!

9. Plan fun Trips together: I have noticed that quality time in the car together is a blast for my husband and I. It doesn't even have to be a BIG vacation. It can be a simple over night stay somewhere close by. These are the times we blare music in the car- eat junk food that we shouldn't eat-  and laugh the hardest! You only live once. Make memories together!

10. Never stop pursuing her:  Most people think the "I Do" is the end. Make a promise that it will be the BEGINNING! Don't be complacent in your relationship. When people get comfortable that is when mistakes happen! Women love to be chased- especially by the man that has their heart! In the words of Brad Paisleys' Country song: "Love her like she's leaving- Like it's all going to end if you don't. Love her like she's leaving- oh and I guarantee SHE WON'T" "its easy to take forever for granted with tin cans tied to your car. I know she always tells you that she all ways be there but I'm telling you if you are smart... you will love her like she's leaving- Like its all going to end if you don't.. Love her like she's leaving... and I guarantee she won't!"

"The best way to keep her...is to keep her wanting you" ~Brad Paisley

"Superwoman"

No- I don't have the flu- I am just sore!
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Today I walked into my workout class for the first time since I had my baby... depressing how out of shape I am but motivating when I looked around.

There were obvious reasons why someone would be motivated- the music- the atmosphere- the weights etc. But for me it was something different.... It was the variety of women that were taking the class with me. You ask why?? That is a random answer!! Well here is why:

When I looked around I saw young women just starting out, middle aged women trying to find their way, and older women who have been through a lot. I saw teachers, nurses, stay at home moms, students, even property managers. Even deeper; I saw military wives who brave being home alone, teenagers who deal with high school drama, police officers wives who sometimes feel like single moms...--- I saw women who are fitness freaks and women who struggle with their weight.  All in all, we are women from different walks of life. Women who start their days and finish their days by checking boxes off of their to do lists in their heads. Wake up, get the kids ready for school, get to work, pick the kids up, go to the gym, grocery shop, cook dinner, bathe the children, do the laundry, etc. repeat!

I got to thinking about how fierce the "Woman" actually is. I once read a monologue called "I am an Emotional Creature", I cannot believe someone could sum up a "woman" so well: Someone who has an intuition like no other, feels things so much more intense then men do, feelings "pulse through us"...While that monologue pumps me up about being a woman.. there are sometimes I hate being a woman as well. One of the main reasons is because  I feel there are so many expectations of us- by our husbands, families, peers, jobs, and society as a whole.

While I stood there trying to keep up with the routine of the workout class I couldn't help but reflect on my life as a new mom- How in the world am I going to do this? How in the world am I going to go back to work full time- pick up my son from daycare- work out to get back into shape- cook dinner- be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, friend... and MORE??  I kind of started to freak out... I didn't know if it was my fear of my new role or the workout that was getting harder by the second.  Then I realized it was a mixture of both as my heart started to race.  As nervous as I am about all of it- I am calmed when I read Proverbs.


Proverbs 13 describes a fierce woman-- one that I want to strive to be... but I want to focus on verses 13-21:

¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

WOW- How intense! This is a woman who has it together! A woman who provides for her family, gives it her all, gives to the needy etc. Then I realized just I how I am going to do it.. I am going to try my best to be the woman that is spoke about in this scripture. My own version of "Superwoman"--I may not get everything right, do everything by the book or have an "S" on my chest... but I will be trying.

  "I am not saying I am superwoman...but I am saying that you have never seen me and superwoman in the same room together ;)"

~ 5 Weeks Postpartum~

(I love this picture I saw on the internet)

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As I looked in the mirror before my son was born I saw a huge (what appeared to be a beach ball) stomach. I felt kicks and elbows, flutters, and hiccups. It was amazing! A tiny person was growing inside of me. How wonderful.

Fast forward five weeks- As I look in the mirror I see a soft stomach (that 9 months+ ago I thought was firm). I see dark spots that came out of no where. I also see red lines that run vertically down my stomach (that I did not see while I was pregnant)- I met the one thing I thought I had prevented.. stretch marks.

My first human/womanly thought was: " Will they go away? Will they lighten up? Will my husband still find me attractive if they stay?" I get comments from people like "You look great for just having a baby!" and while I am grateful for the compliments- people have no clue what it looks like under the shirt that I am wearing.

While I was thinking about this change that my body is having to adapt to I ran across this blog that hit me like a ton of bricks!- http://www.abeautifulbodyproject.com/_babies_ruin_bodies_an_ode_to_my_postpartum_body#.UtcBf-l3s

I prayed for this baby to come into my life and I am so grateful that he is here! I was quickly reminded of the struggle that we went through to have him (and the struggles that many women are going through to get pregnant- or even those who have faced the fact that they can't have children!).

Psalms 139:13-14 says:
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Although I am slowly looking at my body in a new way- it is still a struggle- I am just being real with you! Not because of what I think- but because society tells us that stretch marks and flabby skin are ugly. But this is a struggle that I will gladly take.

God knit him together piece by piece inside of me. I am blessed that God chose me to be his mother! God knew how big he would be an how small I was while he was forming- because he was fearfully and wonderfully made. Each and every stretch mark is worth it because it carried the child that God created! I can honestly say that with every look at a stretch mark I think of him hiccupping inside of me or kicking me and it makes me smile because every mark tells a story. Will it take time to get used to this new body- or try to improve it- certainly! But I have time.. Trying to see what I thought was a struggle- now as a blessing!

 I once heard "For every woman that is unhappy with her postpartum marks- there is another who wishes she had them!" trying to remember that "My body isn't ruined- I am just a tiger who has earned her stripes!"


Whether it be stretch marks- or something else unrelated to babies--- try to think of your struggles in a positive light- it does the soul good!