Relationship v. Argument

The other day I was complaining about something to my husband. To tell you the truth, I was finding fault in many things he did... or didn't do. The house was a mess, I had lots to do and there was lots that needed to be done. I was stressed and I was taking it out on him. One thing led to another and before I knew it... we were arguing.

You know, that moment when you are so extremely mad at the one person you love more than anything in this world. I was puffing so hard! Almost so mad that my eyes were crossing. Our argument was to the point where after about 30 minutes of going back and forth- I couldn't even tell you what started the whole thing. SAD HUH? When you are so mad yet can't remember what started it!?

Then it dawned on me.

If I am so mad.. that I don't even know why I am mad... then why am I so mad about it? THAT JUST MADE ME MORE MAD! I started thinking of all the time I had wasted being picky about every little thing. Then I thought... Which do I value more? The Relationship or the Argument?

Don't get me wrong. There are times when standing up for what is right- is the right thing to do. Then there are times when pressing the issue on something YOU feel is RIGHT.. is NOT called for. My husband and I discuss EVERYTHING- We probably talk more than your average couple. Most of our conversations are informative on how work is going or what our plans for the day or week are... but sometimes our conversations are more intense- Yes emotions get involved-- I AM A FEMALE- but there are times when I must sit back and determine if it is a good time to stand firm or stand down.

 In Marriage, we must learn the difference. There will be times when things don't go our way. There will also be times when we want to express to our spouse the feelings that we have. My personal advice is...no matter what-- whether we stand firm or stand down-------> We must always VALUE the RELATIONSHIP more than the argument.

I feel sometimes we get caught up in our own emotions that we value the argument more. We don't care what gets said or who gets hurt as long as we get our point across. Slowly.. Marriages deteriorate because Arguments get more Value.

My personal goal this week is to place my spouse above any argument or discussion we may have. Yes, I will still express my feelings to him- But I am a firm believer that ANYTHING can be said nicely. My goal is to "talk" through everything.
If I feel we are getting no where- We will just agree to disagree- and resume later. No need to get loud, get stressed, and off track. (don't want to go back to not knowing what started the argument).

So my question to you is.. Do you value your relationship more than you value your arguments? If so, then I recommend you try the same thing. Try to be more conscious about your discussions. Remember, you are mad at the one person you are supposed to love with all of your heart! What argument could be more important than them??

Can you imagine how strong marriages would be if both the husband and the wife valued each other MORE than the disagreements they may have?