As I tried on clothes the other day~ I lost it right there in the dressing room. My body is not the same as it once was. My hips are a little wider, thighs a little thicker, tummy more bloated, etc. While I am totally okay with that- because I prayed for the miracle that stretched my body into what it now is, I cried because I am not like others I see.- and not to mention; we as women are EMOTIONAL creatures!
So often I see women come into the gym that have the perfect body- they make it look so easy to be Beautiful- I wonder to myself: "WHY ARE THEY HERE??" - oh yea... to keep that perfect body!
I see women at meetings I go to for work. Perfectly dressed in todays latest fashions, stylish shoes, gorgeous jewelry, and the nicest, shiniest hair dos. I immediately feel out of place.
My clothes are the same clothes I have worn for years, I am at the gym because I NEED to be at the gym, My wedding rings are usually the only jewelry this woman wears, and my hair.... oh GOD.. my hair... yea, I will make an appointment when I get around to it!
Talk about overwhelming! Yes, it is true- we are our own worst critics.
In my head I have the Angel on my shoulder that tells me "It's okay Girl, You just had a baby not to long ago, it takes time! You look great etc. But my worst enemy, in my head, is the Devil.--- And to me.. the Devil wears Prada! I hear "Get rid of your old clothes, go shopping for new ones, don't buy them bigger, lose weight, don't wear that its not your size anymore, you aren't up to societies standards, get with the times girl!!
But then I realized-
Before becoming a mom- I didn't worry about these types of things... I didn't worry about the latest fashions- I didn't worry about hitting the gym hard because I was always into sports- I didn't worry about the nicest jewelry or having the perfect hair!--- but now when my eyes meet a woman who looks as if she has it all together- I immediately notice my flaws.
I guess now days I feel that way because I am not covered in designer clothes or perfume; I am covered in spit up!
Not to mention, the bags under my eyes for lack of sleep- The shirts I wear aren't very stylish- most likely they are baggy to cover up my not so flat stomach. And I am wearing Jeans in the summer because my legs aren't as small as I would like them!
I may not have it all together on the outside. I may not turn heads when I walk by but I am trying to be okay with that.
"Take me as I am" is my new way of thinking. Not that I am going to LET MYSELF GO, but take me as I am or don't take me at all!
Why yes, I do think it is important to take care of oneself and look presentable. But sometimes I feel that people get caught up in the materialistic things of the world that don't really matter!
I have come to realize that If worn out jeans, a spit up t-shirt, and thrown up hair aren't acceptable- then I probably won't be there---
If I HAVE to get a babysitter in order to attend an event- then most likely its not an event for me.
I have found more joy in the tiniest human being than some will ever find in clothes, jewelry or hair. So the next time I am running around like a chicken- and my eyes meet a Beautiful woman who looks like she should be on a runway. I will smile- Smile for the Beauty she has on the outside.. and the Beauty I have on the inside!
I teach girls everyday that someone's Character and Personality is what makes her Beautiful- Today, I will try harder to practice what I preach! I will try harder to listen to the Angel on my shoulder than the Devil that is strutting Prada.
