"Superwoman"

No- I don't have the flu- I am just sore!
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Today I walked into my workout class for the first time since I had my baby... depressing how out of shape I am but motivating when I looked around.

There were obvious reasons why someone would be motivated- the music- the atmosphere- the weights etc. But for me it was something different.... It was the variety of women that were taking the class with me. You ask why?? That is a random answer!! Well here is why:

When I looked around I saw young women just starting out, middle aged women trying to find their way, and older women who have been through a lot. I saw teachers, nurses, stay at home moms, students, even property managers. Even deeper; I saw military wives who brave being home alone, teenagers who deal with high school drama, police officers wives who sometimes feel like single moms...--- I saw women who are fitness freaks and women who struggle with their weight.  All in all, we are women from different walks of life. Women who start their days and finish their days by checking boxes off of their to do lists in their heads. Wake up, get the kids ready for school, get to work, pick the kids up, go to the gym, grocery shop, cook dinner, bathe the children, do the laundry, etc. repeat!

I got to thinking about how fierce the "Woman" actually is. I once read a monologue called "I am an Emotional Creature", I cannot believe someone could sum up a "woman" so well: Someone who has an intuition like no other, feels things so much more intense then men do, feelings "pulse through us"...While that monologue pumps me up about being a woman.. there are sometimes I hate being a woman as well. One of the main reasons is because  I feel there are so many expectations of us- by our husbands, families, peers, jobs, and society as a whole.

While I stood there trying to keep up with the routine of the workout class I couldn't help but reflect on my life as a new mom- How in the world am I going to do this? How in the world am I going to go back to work full time- pick up my son from daycare- work out to get back into shape- cook dinner- be the perfect wife, daughter, sister, friend... and MORE??  I kind of started to freak out... I didn't know if it was my fear of my new role or the workout that was getting harder by the second.  Then I realized it was a mixture of both as my heart started to race.  As nervous as I am about all of it- I am calmed when I read Proverbs.


Proverbs 13 describes a fierce woman-- one that I want to strive to be... but I want to focus on verses 13-21:

¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

WOW- How intense! This is a woman who has it together! A woman who provides for her family, gives it her all, gives to the needy etc. Then I realized just I how I am going to do it.. I am going to try my best to be the woman that is spoke about in this scripture. My own version of "Superwoman"--I may not get everything right, do everything by the book or have an "S" on my chest... but I will be trying.

  "I am not saying I am superwoman...but I am saying that you have never seen me and superwoman in the same room together ;)"

~ 5 Weeks Postpartum~

(I love this picture I saw on the internet)

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As I looked in the mirror before my son was born I saw a huge (what appeared to be a beach ball) stomach. I felt kicks and elbows, flutters, and hiccups. It was amazing! A tiny person was growing inside of me. How wonderful.

Fast forward five weeks- As I look in the mirror I see a soft stomach (that 9 months+ ago I thought was firm). I see dark spots that came out of no where. I also see red lines that run vertically down my stomach (that I did not see while I was pregnant)- I met the one thing I thought I had prevented.. stretch marks.

My first human/womanly thought was: " Will they go away? Will they lighten up? Will my husband still find me attractive if they stay?" I get comments from people like "You look great for just having a baby!" and while I am grateful for the compliments- people have no clue what it looks like under the shirt that I am wearing.

While I was thinking about this change that my body is having to adapt to I ran across this blog that hit me like a ton of bricks!- http://www.abeautifulbodyproject.com/_babies_ruin_bodies_an_ode_to_my_postpartum_body#.UtcBf-l3s

I prayed for this baby to come into my life and I am so grateful that he is here! I was quickly reminded of the struggle that we went through to have him (and the struggles that many women are going through to get pregnant- or even those who have faced the fact that they can't have children!).

Psalms 139:13-14 says:
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

Although I am slowly looking at my body in a new way- it is still a struggle- I am just being real with you! Not because of what I think- but because society tells us that stretch marks and flabby skin are ugly. But this is a struggle that I will gladly take.

God knit him together piece by piece inside of me. I am blessed that God chose me to be his mother! God knew how big he would be an how small I was while he was forming- because he was fearfully and wonderfully made. Each and every stretch mark is worth it because it carried the child that God created! I can honestly say that with every look at a stretch mark I think of him hiccupping inside of me or kicking me and it makes me smile because every mark tells a story. Will it take time to get used to this new body- or try to improve it- certainly! But I have time.. Trying to see what I thought was a struggle- now as a blessing!

 I once heard "For every woman that is unhappy with her postpartum marks- there is another who wishes she had them!" trying to remember that "My body isn't ruined- I am just a tiger who has earned her stripes!"


Whether it be stretch marks- or something else unrelated to babies--- try to think of your struggles in a positive light- it does the soul good!