1. I have learned to never ask a woman--- "When are yall going to have kids?"- This is a question that I heard over and over again while I was struggling. To someone who doesn't know your situation its just a question. To someone who is struggling-- its a constant reminder! There was one time when someone kept on about it.. "It's about time yall had kids.. yall have been together forever!"... "When do you think yall will start trying?" "It's about time!!!"--- You never know what someone is going through.. watch your words.. they hurt!
2. Gods Timing is everything: I am an "I want it now" type of person. My patience is few and far between! Yet when it comes to Gods plan.. I am helpless! He is an ON TIME God! Things will happen but in his timing.. No matter what they are! He says in:
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
**I am so glad He has a plan.. because mine never go through the way I want them to!
3. PRAYER works: Sometimes I felt like I was praying and nothing was happening... Then I realized that my prayer life was very selfish.. I was praying for things I wanted or needed.. Not thanking God for what I already had! I am a firm believer that Prayers are always answered.. Some answers are YES, some are NO, and some are WAIT! But prayer works!
4. To pray with my husband: Andrew and I would always say our prayers at night- individually- through this whole process we started praying together.. most of the time it was at dinner- but we would hold hands and pray- sometimes innocently forgetting to Thank him for the food.. we were so busy praying for other things.. This is something I am extremely grateful for. Praying with your spouse is amazing! I highly recommend it! It's like a whole new insight to what's on their heart! Powerful!
5. Communication is Key: I double majored in Criminal Justice and Communication- so Communication has always been a cool topic for me. But it is easier said than done- especially when applying to your own marriage! I know how to talk to people- but when I was trying to relate my emotions to my husband I was holding some in. Through this entire process I learned how to "Let go.. and Let God". I learned how to express to Andrew that I wanted to sit down and talk to him. That I wanted to see a specialist. That I needed his support etc. That is hard to do (especially when you are trying to put on this TOUGH WOMAN façade) to the one person you don't want to look weak to. No matter what- Communication in a marriage is soooooo important. You can't go on, living a happy life together, if you don't know how to communicate.
6. Our Focus needs to change: I once heard a preacher say "If you focus on your circumstances they will only get bigger- If you focus on Jesus your circumstances will get smaller". This is so TRUE! Too often we feel like we are Alone in this great big world. We feel like we are the only one going through this type of issue. We dwell on the problems that we have! If only we look to Jesus and focus on the BIG PICTURE will we see that we are wasting time worrying. The same preacher said "Problems that are over our heads.. are still under HIS feet"- wow, what a great way to tell us that we aren't in control. GOD IS!- We need to not be so focused on our issues that we forget our blessings! No matter what they are!
7. Mamas are friends: I knew I could always talk to my mom.. and mother in law.. but through all of this I was an open book to them! For goodness sake, they know how it is to - want to be a Mama- be a mama- etc. I sometimes told them things that they might not feel comfortable hearing from their daughter or daughter in law- yet I learned that these are constant women in my life and that's what they are there for! I checked in with them after doctors appointments etc (It's sometimes nice not to keep everything to your self- to have other women to share it with :)
8. Bitterness hardens your Heart: Yes, I said it.. Bitterness! I am human just like the rest of you. Seeing people have what you want is hard. Seeing people who don't want or can't afford what you want is harder! I have learned to not be bitter towards those people. It's not their fault that I am struggling. True story: A young girl I know got pregnant.. Not married-- rough relationship- no means to care for the child on her on- etc. OUCH- slap me in the face... How easy it was for her to conceive yet I can't... BITTERNESS! Building up inside a Christian woman. Although I may not like her situation or agree with it- God doesn't make mistakes. I have learned to find happiness and peace through others situations. Not easy- it took time- and it enlightens the heart!
9. Not to complain: I have seen so many people complain on facebook or other social media about being pregnant or other life issues etc. And yes, I do understand (now 9 months pregnant) that there are some things worth venting about.. Yet, God has BLESSED me with this miracle that I PRAYED for.. I will NOT complain about that!--- Relate this to your life.. Are there things that you are venting about- or complaining about that you shouldn't be? Honestly- we as humans do this all the time! We complain about things that are really blessings to us. Again its because we are humans and that is human nature!
10. God uses Situations to bring you closer to him: Not that I feel that God makes people struggle on purpose------ yet I do feel as if he uses your circumstances to bring you closer to him. Yes, most people have a time period where they turn from God during a struggle or tragedy. They question Him on why He does the things He does. Yet, I do feel like there is a time where we feel closer to God because of all we have gone through. It's like it took something to make us realize the bigger picture. Hard to explain- but think about your life- have you been through something that made you realize how precious LIFE was.. or how GOOD you really do have it etc? That same preacher once said "its not how you get through the storm or when will you come to a storm.. its how you STAND during the storm" I have learned to turn TO GOD in times of need.. not run away. We must keep our roots planted in God!!
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I know this has been a bunch of rambling-- but I hope at least one of these points touches your heart!
**I am so glad He has a plan.. because mine never go through the way I want them to!
3. PRAYER works: Sometimes I felt like I was praying and nothing was happening... Then I realized that my prayer life was very selfish.. I was praying for things I wanted or needed.. Not thanking God for what I already had! I am a firm believer that Prayers are always answered.. Some answers are YES, some are NO, and some are WAIT! But prayer works!
4. To pray with my husband: Andrew and I would always say our prayers at night- individually- through this whole process we started praying together.. most of the time it was at dinner- but we would hold hands and pray- sometimes innocently forgetting to Thank him for the food.. we were so busy praying for other things.. This is something I am extremely grateful for. Praying with your spouse is amazing! I highly recommend it! It's like a whole new insight to what's on their heart! Powerful!
5. Communication is Key: I double majored in Criminal Justice and Communication- so Communication has always been a cool topic for me. But it is easier said than done- especially when applying to your own marriage! I know how to talk to people- but when I was trying to relate my emotions to my husband I was holding some in. Through this entire process I learned how to "Let go.. and Let God". I learned how to express to Andrew that I wanted to sit down and talk to him. That I wanted to see a specialist. That I needed his support etc. That is hard to do (especially when you are trying to put on this TOUGH WOMAN façade) to the one person you don't want to look weak to. No matter what- Communication in a marriage is soooooo important. You can't go on, living a happy life together, if you don't know how to communicate.
6. Our Focus needs to change: I once heard a preacher say "If you focus on your circumstances they will only get bigger- If you focus on Jesus your circumstances will get smaller". This is so TRUE! Too often we feel like we are Alone in this great big world. We feel like we are the only one going through this type of issue. We dwell on the problems that we have! If only we look to Jesus and focus on the BIG PICTURE will we see that we are wasting time worrying. The same preacher said "Problems that are over our heads.. are still under HIS feet"- wow, what a great way to tell us that we aren't in control. GOD IS!- We need to not be so focused on our issues that we forget our blessings! No matter what they are!
7. Mamas are friends: I knew I could always talk to my mom.. and mother in law.. but through all of this I was an open book to them! For goodness sake, they know how it is to - want to be a Mama- be a mama- etc. I sometimes told them things that they might not feel comfortable hearing from their daughter or daughter in law- yet I learned that these are constant women in my life and that's what they are there for! I checked in with them after doctors appointments etc (It's sometimes nice not to keep everything to your self- to have other women to share it with :)
8. Bitterness hardens your Heart: Yes, I said it.. Bitterness! I am human just like the rest of you. Seeing people have what you want is hard. Seeing people who don't want or can't afford what you want is harder! I have learned to not be bitter towards those people. It's not their fault that I am struggling. True story: A young girl I know got pregnant.. Not married-- rough relationship- no means to care for the child on her on- etc. OUCH- slap me in the face... How easy it was for her to conceive yet I can't... BITTERNESS! Building up inside a Christian woman. Although I may not like her situation or agree with it- God doesn't make mistakes. I have learned to find happiness and peace through others situations. Not easy- it took time- and it enlightens the heart!
9. Not to complain: I have seen so many people complain on facebook or other social media about being pregnant or other life issues etc. And yes, I do understand (now 9 months pregnant) that there are some things worth venting about.. Yet, God has BLESSED me with this miracle that I PRAYED for.. I will NOT complain about that!--- Relate this to your life.. Are there things that you are venting about- or complaining about that you shouldn't be? Honestly- we as humans do this all the time! We complain about things that are really blessings to us. Again its because we are humans and that is human nature!
10. God uses Situations to bring you closer to him: Not that I feel that God makes people struggle on purpose------ yet I do feel as if he uses your circumstances to bring you closer to him. Yes, most people have a time period where they turn from God during a struggle or tragedy. They question Him on why He does the things He does. Yet, I do feel like there is a time where we feel closer to God because of all we have gone through. It's like it took something to make us realize the bigger picture. Hard to explain- but think about your life- have you been through something that made you realize how precious LIFE was.. or how GOOD you really do have it etc? That same preacher once said "its not how you get through the storm or when will you come to a storm.. its how you STAND during the storm" I have learned to turn TO GOD in times of need.. not run away. We must keep our roots planted in God!!
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I know this has been a bunch of rambling-- but I hope at least one of these points touches your heart!
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